I. INTRODUCTION

A few weeks ago, on a business trip for BYU, I found myself sitting on the balcony of my hotel room overlooking the teeming metropolis of Cairo, Egypt, and thinking about what I might say in today’s presentation. It occurred to me that much had changed in my mind and heart in the nearly 25 years since Diane and I first encountered this North African, Arab, Muslim city. Both of us had grown up in small, rural, LDS communities–she in Declo, Idaho; I in Snowflake, Arizona– and had little exposure to non-American, non-Christian peoples and cultures before we decided to leave our comfort zone and seek adventure teaching school in Saudi Arabia.

Our first stop in the Middle East after leaving the States was Cairo, and our first impressions could not have been worse. The furnace blast of heat and humidity that greeted us as we stepped off the plane withered our Rocky Mountain souls. We found ourselves stranded without airline reservations, no familiar system for making reservations, all the while surrounded by masses of people who dressed in weird clothes, spoke a bizarre language, and seemingly possessed no notions of basic civility like waiting in lines and not staring at strangers. Our patience was pushed to the breaking point by hustlers and con men, and our senses were overpowered by unidentifiable foods, vile sanitary conditions, exotic sounds, and nauseating odors. Late one night, unable to sleep because of jet lag, stifling heat, kamikaze mosquitoes buzzing my ears, and the cacophony of frogs and dogs outside our bedroom window, I said to Diane, "Tell me again why we decided to do this."

But we stuck it out, and the experience of living and working in Cairo, Amman, Khamis Mushait, Jubail, Boston, and Provo among people of diverse religious, ethnic, racial, and political backgrounds has immensely enriched our lives. I realized as I sat on the balcony of the hotel that what was exotic and repelling the first time in Cairo was now familiar and comfortable. I had just eaten Egyptian foods for breakfast– foul, ta`miya, and mango juice– that I wouldn’t have touched before but that now I not only liked, but craved because they are so healthy and delicious. I thought about how much I had learned to love the archeological and historical treasures of Cairo, the natural beauty of the Nile valley and the Sinai, and above all the innate warmth, intelligence, resiliency, and good humor of the Egyptian people. I was reminded of how much of life and beauty and self-understanding and spiritual growth we would have missed by ignoring the opportunity to experience the world of other people, however alien and offensive it may have seemed at first.

Our presentation today focuses on this theme of loving and learning from those who are different. We are grateful for this opportunity to share our testimony about an eternal truth that is both fundamental in Christian spiritual life and vital to the well-being of the increasingly diverse communities in which we live. Though most Latter-day Saints understand the Savior’s admonitions to reach out to "strangers and foreigners" among us, we must be aware of problems and challenges that still hinder our efforts to apply this principle and to instill it in our young people. Our comments will focus on interfaith issues, though the principles also apply to our relations with anyone whose political views and social status differ from ours.

II. "ENTERTAINING STRANGERS": THE ESSENCE OF CHRISTIAN DISCIPLESHIP

The need to love and learn from those outside our circle of experience is greater today than ever before. This applies to our relations with both members and non-members. Studies, including the most recent U.S. census, show that our communities are becoming ever more diverse in terms of ethnicity, race, religion, and lifestyle. It is one of the ironies of our age that kindness, civility, and respect for differences seem to be at an all-time low just as our access to prosperity, creature comforts, and technology are at an all time high. Reports of violence and bigotry rooted in racial, religious, and political distinctions assail us every day in the news. We face challenges in the church, too, as thousands of our Father’s children from primarily non-North American, non-English speaking countries and cultures, many of them refugees fleeing political and economic hardship, join our congregations each year in need of refuge, support, and acceptance. Moreover, demographic trends in the church show a large percentage of single adults– whether divorced, widowed, or never married-- who often feel alienated in a community whose theology and activities center in the traditional nuclear family.

The vital need to understand and love those of differing religious, social, and philosophical backgrounds is rooted in fundamental Gospel principles–humility, charity, respect for eternal truth, and recognition of God’s love for all mankind– taught by Jesus Christ and by ancient and modern prophets.

The Savior repeatedly affirmed Heavenly Father’s concern for the well-being of each of His sons and daughters (Luke 15) but warned his followers, in the parable of the Good Samaritan, that true discipleship requires more than just a feeling of love for those around us. Rather, we must be willing to go out of our way, outside our comfort zone, to minister to the needs of those who, because of political, racial, or religious differences, we find difficult to love (Luke 10). Jesus denounced intolerance and rivalry among religious groups and the tendency to extol one’s own virtues and deprecate the spiritual status of others. Addressing a parable to those who "trusted in themselves, that they were righteous, and despised others," he condemned the prideful attitude of the Pharisee who prayed, "God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are" and commended the humble demeanor of the publican who implored, "God be merciful to me a sinner" (Luke 18:9-14). In one of His most powerful teachings concerning the Last Judgment, Jesus explained that the ultimate test of Christian faith is our daily effort to bring healing, love, and nourishment to those among us who suffer physically, spiritually, or emotionally. He describes those individuals as hungering and thirsting and of being strangers, prisoners, sick, and naked; in other words, those in society who don’t fit in, who are scorned and rejected, whose needs are difficult to see but very real, who feel trapped, inadequate, and vulnerable (Matthew 25).

The apostle Paul teaches eloquently that, motivated by the gift of God’s grace in our lives, we should constantly watch for those who are far off and seek to bring them near. We should seek to help Christ break down the "wall of partition" that separates us from God and our fellow beings (Ephesians 2:13-19). By so doing, we discover the reciprocal nature of charity: that in extending care to others–especially those outside our circle of experience–we find unexpected spiritual surprises and insights. In Paul’s words: "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares" (Hebrews 13:2 ).

Alma’s missionary experience among the dissident Zoramites warns us against the spiritual danger of pridefully patting ourselves on the back. He records that the people would ascend a public pulpit, called Rameumpton, and pray: "Holy God, we believe that thou hast separated us from our brethren; . . . we believe that thou hast elected us to be thy holy children; . . . and thou hast elected us that we shall be saved, whilst all around us are elected to be cast by thy wrath down to hell; . . . and again we thank thee, O God, that we are a chosen and a holy people" (Alma 31:12-23). Later, referring to the pride of the Zoramites, Alma gives counsel to his son, Shiblon, that echoes the Savior’s teachings about "despising others" (see above) and reminds church members today of the need for humility in our relations with other faiths: "Do not say: O God, I thank thee that we are better than our brethren; but rather say: O Lord, forgive my unworthiness, and remember my brethren in mercy–yea, acknowledge your unworthiness before God at all times" (Alma 38:14).

The Book of Mormon is another witness that Heavenly Father "is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in . . . and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth" (Alma 26:37; also I Nephi 1:14). His love and mercy are extended to all people regardless of race, social class, gender, or religion: "He inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness . . . black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile" (2 Nephi 26:33). Because of this love for His children of all nations, He has provided spriritual light to guide and enrich their lives in all times and places: "I bring forth my word unto the children of men, yea, even upon all the nations of the earth" (2 Nephi 29:7); "The Lord doth grant unto all nations, of their own nation and tongue, to teach his word, yea, in wisdom, all that he seeth fit that they should have" (Alma 29:8)

The Prophet Joseph Smith often expounded on this theme of the universality of God’s love and the related need to remain open to all available sources of divine light and knowledge. "One of the grand fundamental principles of ‘Mormonism,’" he said, "is to receive truth, let it come from whence it may."1 The Prophet exhorted church members to "gather all the good and true principles in the world and treasure them up, or we shall not come out true ‘Mormons.’"2 He incorporated these basic principles of interreligious understanding in the Articles of Faith, accepted now as official church doctrine. The eleventh article articulates the Latter-day Saints’ commitment to religious freedom and tolerance: all people should have the privilege to "worship how, where, or what they may." The thirteenth article of faith, on the other hand, goes beyond mere toleration to advocate respect for, even active searching after, all truth and virtue: it embodies our aspiration to do "good to all men" and to seek actively after "anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy." In keeping with this theme, the Prophet cautioned against the ills of sectarian strife and urged church members to set an example of charity and civility in their dealings with non-members:

We ought always to be aware of those prejudices . . . against our friends, neighbors, and brethren of the world, who choose to differ from us in opinion and in matters of faith. . . . There is a love from God . . . which enables us to conduct ourselves with greater liberality towards all that are not of our faith, than what they exercise towards one another. . . . Christians should cease wrangling and contending with each other, and cultivate the principles of union and friendship in their midst.3

Elder B.H. Roberts and Apostle Orson F. Whitney, elaborating on this doctrine, concluded that philosophers, founders, and teachers of other religious traditions were inspired by the Lord to teach good and virtuous principles. Elder Roberts stated:

While the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is established for the instruction of men, it is one of God’s instrumentalities for making known the truth; yet God is not limited to that institution for such purposes, neither in time nor place. He raises up wise men and prophets here and there among all the children of men, of their own tongue and nationality, speaking to them through means that they can comprehend; . . . Mormonism holds, then, that all the great teachers are servants of God among all nations and in all ages. They are inspired men, appointed to instruct God's children according to the conditions in the midst of which he finds them.4

Speaking in the April 1921 general conference, Elder Whitney observed that God "is using not only his covenant people, but other peoples as well, to consummate a work, stupendous, magnificent, and altogether too arduous for this little handful of Saints to accomplish by and of themselves."5

LDS appreciation of the role of religious founders and philosophers can also be found in the 1978 First Presidency statement to the world regarding God’s love for all mankind. This declaration states that "the great religious leaders of the world such as Mohammed, Confucius, and the Reformers, as well as philosophers including Socrates, Plato, and others, received a portion of God’s light. Moral truths were given to them by God to enlighten whole nations and to bring a higher level of understanding to individuals."6 During October 1991 general conference, Elder Howard W. Hunter summarized LDS views on religious respect and made this observation: "As members of the Church of Jesus Christ, we seek to bring all truth together. We seek to enlarge the circle of love and understanding among all the peoples of the earth. Thus we strive to establish peace and happiness, not only within Christianity but among all mankind."7

Recent statements by Church leaders have continued to encourage members to foster amicable relations with people of other faiths by acknowledging the spiritual truth they possess, emphasizing the similarities in belief and lifestyle, and agreeing to disagree agreeably on the differences. For example, President George Albert Smith expressed this sentiment in a well-known quote: "We have come not to take away from you the truth and virtue you possess. We have come not to find fault with you nor criticize you. . . . Keep all the good that you have, and let us bring to you more good."8

A public statement issued by the First Presidency and the Twelve in October 1992 called upon "all people everywhere to re-commit themselves to the time-honored ideals of tolerance and mutual respect. We sincerely believe that as we acknowledge one another with consideration and compassion we will discover that we can all peacefully coexist despite our deepest differences."9

In his speeches, writings, and interviews, President Gordon B. Hinckley has consistently advocated dialogue and mutual respect in interfaith relations. He was taught by his mother at a young age to respect those who are different, as recorded in a story from The Friend: "One day when President Hinckley was about five years old, he was sitting on his front porch with some friends. A family of another race walked down the street in front of the house. Young Gordon and his friends made some unkind remarks about the people. His mother heard what they said, and she took them inside to talk with them. She told them that all people are sons and daughters of God. That day he learned that we must respect and help one another, regardless of race, religion, wealth, or anything else."10 President Hinckley has admonished members of the Church to cultivate "a spirit of affirmative gratitude" for those of differing religious, political, and philosophical persuasions, adding that "we do not in any way have to compromise our theology" in the process. In response to a reporter’s question during a TV interview, he gave this counsel: "Be respectful of the opinions and feelings of other people. Recognize their virtues; don’t look for their faults. Look for their strengths and their virtues, and you will find strength and virtues that will be helpful in your own life."11

III. CHALLENGES TO ACCEPTING AND INCLUDING OTHERS

I am certain that the vast majority of Latter-day Saints understand these principles and are striving to be compassionate and inclusive in their relations with others. However, as my friend Reed Benson likes to say, "The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement," and experience has taught me that we as a community have a sizeable room to fill in this regard. But being aware of the problems and obstacles we face in living up to Christian ideals of interfaith respect is the first step to dealing with them effectively.

In my capacity as advisor to several non-LDS student groups on campus and a teacher of world religions, I have had many opportunities to interact with those among us whose ethnicity, religion, politics, or lifestyle places them outside the mainstream and to discuss their experience living as a minority in an LDS environment. I think it is accurate to conclude that most of those whom I have known over the years expressed appreciation for the high standards we aspire to and the friendliness exhibited towards them. Unfortunately, however, there are many too instances in which those of divergent backgrounds among us have felt excluded, demeaned, or diminished. Given the LDS ideals of acceptance and "affirmative gratitude" for those who are different, I have wondered what factors lead us to exhibit sometimes intolerant, unkind attitudes toward others? Why is it that we are perceived in society at large as a community characterized by insular attitudes toward outsiders? The following are some general observations about acceptance and inclusiveness that might help us address these concerns.

1. I have observed that wherever one religion or philosophy of life dominates, it is easy, almost inevitable, for the majority to become insensitive to the minority. I do not say this to justify in any way the mistreatment that occurs, but only to observe that it seems to be a sad but universal reality. I say this based on my experience of living in LDS communities where non-LDS sometimes find difficulty being accepted; of living as a minority among other Christians and among non-Christians and often feeling the sting of prejudice, rejection, and suspicion because of my religion and nationality; and of having experienced social alienation as a religious person in a pervasively secular, even anti-religious environment in graduate school and consulting work.

2. Factors related to LDS history have contributed to attitudes and behaviors that sometimes contradict the principles of tolerance and acceptance outlined before. For the first century or so after the Church’s founding, it was necessary to establish our religious identity through differentiation rather than dialogue, to stake out our spot in the spiritual marketplace by drawing theological lines in the sand rather than seeking common ground with other religions. Now, with the Church more firmly established and successfully emerging "out of obscurity," the emphasis has shifted to interfaith respect and cooperation. But the old "us vs. them" attitudes still linger in the speech and actions of some members.

3. I have noted also that doctrinal misunderstandings often lie at the root of intolerant behavior and attitudes sometimes exhibited by church members. Three prominent examples will suffice to illustrate the point.

First, sometimes church members misrepresent LDS doctrine concerning other religions by employing a selective and therefore incomplete reading of scripture. By referring only to the seemingly exclusivist language of certain scriptural passages while ignoring the scriptures’ inclusivist dimensions, we unwittingly portray a sanctimonious, holier-than-thou stance that does not accurately reflect Church teachings and is offensive to non-members. In my comparative world religions course, I deal with this problem in the first minute of the first class period each semester. I begin the discussion by reading some scriptures familiar to all Latter-day Saints: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is "the only true and living Church upon the face of the whole earth" (D&C 1:30 ); the leaders of other faiths "draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me" and all their creeds are an "abomination" in God’s sight (Joseph Smith-History 1:19); Jesus Christ is the only "way or means whereby man can be saved" (Alma 38:9).

Then I pose a question: Given this kind of language in our scriptures, why should we even bother studying other Christian and non-Christian religions at all? A lively discussion always ensues as students struggle to work through the ambiguity of two seemingly contradictory impulses in LDS doctrine: the uncompromising declaration of absolute truth restored in the latter days, and the compelling mandate to affirm and benefit from the light, virtue, and truth found in other religious traditions. Invariably, the students reach the conclusion that, while we cannot compromise our testimony of restored truths, the attitude and language we choose to express that testimony make all the difference in our relations with those not of our faith. If we speak of "the only true and living Church" but ignore LDS teachings about "affirmative gratitude" for truth in all religions, we perpetuate an incomplete view of the Restored Gospel. We reinforce the erroneous idea that all other religions are completely false and dead and that our community does not value the spiritual experience of others.

A second source of misunderstanding that promotes division and strife is the perpetuation in the LDS community of popular myths masquerading as eternal doctrines. One of the most egregious examples of this are the speculative but widespread ideas about how pre-mortal life affects the religious, social, and even racial status of people during mortal existence. While official LDS doctrine is unique in shedding much new light on pre-earth life and affirms a cause-effect relationship between the first and second estates (Abraham 3:24-26), we actually know very little about what that relationship is–exactly what it means from God’s perspective to be "added upon." And yet, over the years, many books, articles, plays, and songs have been produced in the LDS community that flesh out the doctrinal skeleton with ideas that members often mistake as official Church teachings.

Often the most harmful forms of insensitivity and offense are innocent and unintentional. In this case, some members have unfortunately drawn rather harmful conclusions from the pseudo doctrines about premortality: e.g., that faithful, valiant conduct in the first estate equates with being LDS, American, caucasian, or prosperous in the second estate. The insidious inferrence from this is that those who are born into another religion, race, nationality, or lower social class must have been less faithful and valiant in pre-earth life. You can imagine the psychological, emotional, and spiritual damage this false notion causes someone, whether member or non-member, who comes from a diverse social or religious background and encounters this idea. And a number of unfortunate incidents of this type confirm that these attitudes still persist and problems still occur. In recent years, several minority LDS students have spoken publicly of their pain and disillusionment when told by well-meaning but misguided church members that their racial status is a direct result of their lack of valor in pre-mortality. One man wrote of being informed by his bishop that, according to "official" church doctrine, his newly adopted, beautiful, dark-skinned daughter was born in Calcutta, India, because she was not valiant enough in her first estate to be born into more favorable physical circumstances.

Despite popular religious views on the subject, the truth is that the Church has never proferred an official statement about the complex issues related to our pre-mortal choices and their consequences in earth life, about why some people are born into one race or religion and not another, or about how and why the Lord devises a timetable for providing the full blessings of the priesthood to His children of different racial, ethnic, and religious groups. In my opinion, Elder McConkie and Elder Talmage articulated the most careful and satisfying statements of our doctrine on these issues:

When and where and under what circumstances are [God’s children] sent to earth? . . . There are no simple answers. Our finite limitations and our lack of knowledge of the innate capacities of all men do not let us envision the complexities of the Lord’s system for sending this children to mortality.12

Our condition, position, situation upon the earth must be the result of causes operating before we came into possession of our mortal bodies. Now let it not be assumed that the man who counts himself most blessed in the things of the earth was, therefore, most deserving, for the things of the earth may not be, after all, the greatest blessings of God.13

My third and final example of how a skewed understanding of doctrine can lead to unkind attitudes and behavior is close to my heart and personal experience. For the past 25 years in my work in the Middle East, I have read and heard expressed many times the view that LDS teachings about the gathering of Israel and the establishment of Zion imply that the Church supports the Jews in their struggle with the Palestinians and other Arabs in the Holy Land. There is not time today to discuss adequately why this is an inaccurate interpretation of LDS doctrine and a misrepresentation of the Church’s stance on this extremely complex international political issue. Suffice it to say for now that LDS authors, speakers, teachers, and celebrities who advocate and perpetuate these views are not official spokespersons for the church, even though they are often perceived and cited as such. Many times over the years I have had conversations with Arabs and Muslims, including many students at BYU, who are friends of the Church but, having read this popular LDS literature about the Middle East conflict, are deeply troubled by what appears to be strong bias in favor of Israel. Some of these unofficial and inflammatory LDS writings have even appeared in Arab newspapers in the Middle East purporting to represent the Mormon view on this issue. This problem is especially painful for members of the Church who are Arab (and they are numerous, active, committed, many having served missions and been endowed in the temple) who love the Gospel but are greatly perplexed and saddened when they encounter attitudes among fellow members that reflect a pro-Israeli, anti-Arab prejudice.

Those who do speak officially for the Church–the First Presidency and the Twelve– have never expressed support for one side over another. On the contrary, they have exhibited scrupulous impartiality in all their utterances and actions dealing with the Middle East crisis, and have sought tirelessly to build strong relations with both Jews and Arabs in an effort to bring about greater peace and stability in the region. Elder Howard W. Hunter, who had in-depth understanding of Middle Eastern issues, once addressed this concern in a talk at BYU:

As members of the Lord’s church, we need to lift our vision beyond personal prejudices. We need to discover the supreme truth that indeed our Father is no respecter of persons. Sometimes we unduly offend brothers and sisters of other nations by assigning exclusiveness to one nationality of people over another. Let me cite, as an example of exclusiveness, the present problem in the Middle East–the conflict between the Arabs and the Jews. . . . Both the Jews and the Arabs are children of our Father. They are both children of promise, and as a church we do not take sides. We have love for and an interest in each.14

IV. TEACHING OUR CHILDREN "AFFIRMATIVE GRATITUDE" FOR OTHER FAITHS

How, then, do we teach our children to accept and include those with different beliefs? What can our children learn from those of other faiths that strengthens their testimonies of the restored gospel? The real question, of course, is this: How do we adults first learn to do this? How can we–the mothers, fathers, teachers, and leaders–learn from the spiritual experience of others in a way that allows us to lead our children to have compassion and respect for those who differ from us?

When I was in fifth grade I had to get glasses because I couldn’t see the chalkboard at school and the world at large was fuzzy. I still remember coming out of the doctor’s office sporting my new cat eye glasses and being able to see details in buildings and faces, even the trees had individual leaves. I read every sign and bill board on the way home. I was amazed at the clarity of vision I had with a simple pair of glasses. I could see beyond my normal range.

I grew up in a small, but wonderful community in southern Idaho: Declo. I can remember only three teachers and a handful of kids at school that were not LDS. My exposure to significant people in my life who were not LDS was minimal. My exposure to non-Christians was limited to one. As I moved away to college not much changed. I may have had what you could call "an inner near sightedness". My vision was limited to the many good people in my community who were also members of my church. This was not a bad thing, in fact, I believe it was the very reason that my parents sacrificed a very good job with the government and moved to Declo. They wanted a small town setting where they could raise their children in a safe environment, surrounded with good people, and be able to spend more time with them.

After college, marriage, and a couple years of teaching school, Jim and I moved to the Middle East. This is an area of the world where Christians aren’t allowed to proselyte, and so we shared our testimony of the gospel through example. Now I was exposed to a variety of people from different Christian backgrounds, and to a whole ton of people who weren’t even Christians, and my vision was again blurred. This time I felt the need for an inner corrective lens. I remember the surprise revelation that there were actually very good people in the world who were not LDS. It was like putting on those glasses again as a ten year old, and realizing those individual faces that I could now see with such clarity were also Heavenly Father’s children–and He loves them. I could see inside of them and knew that they valued many of the same things that we do.

As I came to know these wonderful people my fears of associating with them left, and amazingly enough their fears of us also left them. Imagine that they would fear me, a Mormon.

As an example of this I would like to share two experiences that we had as we lived in the Middle East. Jim was studying Arabic intensively at the American University in Cairo. In the group of students, there was a young Baptist minister named Randall. Randall and his wife, Nancy, lived only blocks away from us. We had many things in common: income–or lack thereof–children, church duties (just different churches), husbands that were learning Arabic and coaching our children in soccer, and a Thursday night date routine that would take us to find good, safe food. On many occasions we would go in search of good food together. As our friendship grew many barriers were let down.

One night we were driving Nancy home through the back streets of our neighborhood when all of a sudden she said, "We really like you guys and we are worried that you won’t be saved." I immediately responded, "We really like you guys, too and have been praying for you." The ensuing conversation was one of telling one another about our beliefs what happens after this life and our hopes and fears for each other. We left being enlightened.

A few days later Nancy again broached the subject. This time she expanded on her new vision (similar to what I was also experiencing). She told us that knowing us had changed her view of people from our church. She had often heard negative things about our church. But once she got to know us she realized that we valued the same things, and most importantly she said that it helped her to believe that people from our church were Christians after all. Our friendship helped both of us to promote a greater understanding of each others beliefs–and to alleviate fears–on both sides. We both focused on the commonalities we shared and our vision of each other as children of Heavenly Father became more in focus.

The second experience happened while living and teaching school in Amman, Jordan. I had an aide, named Wafa, who was a Muslim. In the course of working together we talked about our hopes and fears for our children growing up in today’s world. One morning I was especially troubled over something that my children had done or said. Wafa simply said, "Have you prayed to God about your problem?" This advice came from a Muslim woman who had prayed for her own children. She was a woman of faith. Here I was supposed to be the example, but being so careful not to say anything about religion in this Muslim country, I had not communicated to her my own belief in God or in answers to my prayers. Instead she was taking the lead and was trying to help me by teaching me that God answers prayers. From then on we often talked about our religious views and the common thread of a loving Heavenly Father who cares for all of his children. I had lost my fear of speaking about religion to her and discussed with her the commonalities we both share. Through these experiences my own testimony was strengthened of a loving Heavenly Father who cares about all of his children–Christian, Muslim, Jew–all! (2 Ne. 26:33).

One of the main ways to teach children to accept and include those with different beliefs is to be an example for them. Are you, as parents, teachers, and leaders, accepting of others? Do you include people of different beliefs in your life? In sharing these two stories, I hope to have conveyed the idea that we need to eliminate fears and preconceived ideas about other people and their beliefs. There are truths in other religions. Focus on the commonalities that we share and invite conversation that can promote greater understanding between you. Doing these two things in a family setting can help teach our children by our example that we do care about people of other faiths.

We can also teach our children to be accepting and inclusive by helping them serve people--all people.

The fifth grade teacher at my school in Amman, Jordan was the director of the Catholic Church’s music. When Christmas came she was in charge of the choir for the midnight mass at the monastery at Mt. Nebo. There weren’t enough Catholics in the country to make a good choir, so she asked if we would come and help her by singing in the choir. We recruited our children and many of the branch members from our church and soon the choir seats were full. We participated in their services and exposed our children to another religious service. Our children in turn, saw some of their friends from school in their religious setting, and gained an appreciation for the way they worshiped. It was a great bridge building tool, and made lasting memories for our family. And we had so much fun singing that we volunteered again the following year.

My sister and her family get to know their neighbors of diverse religions by doing little service projects for them: a plate of cookies, a lawn mowed, an early morning walk–killing them with kindness and then talking to them as friends–breaking down barriers.

LDS students and families from several local communities have given many hours of labor in helping build the Hari Krishna Temple just south of here in Spanish Fork. The leader of the Hari Krishna temple speaks only in glowing terms of the help that has poured in from the community, including a $20,000 donation from the LDS church. He loves his LDS neighbors. He even mentioned that some of his worshipers wearing turbans can hardly go on a walk for any distance, before someone pulls over and asks them if they need a ride somewhere. He also says that he has received so many invitations to events from our church that he has to be selective in the ones he commits to. Talk about being inclusive and accepting!

A third point that I feel is important in teaching our children to be accepting and inclusive is communication. This is important in any relationship, especially in dealing with our children. Talk to your families about what it means to be inclusive. Let them ask questions. Our children need to feel comfortable in asking questions and having us listen to their concerns and experiences. In our family, Jim is especially good at this. If he heard the children talking about the weird way their friends prayed or if they made some comment about another area of their religious symbolism, he would use that as a teaching moment and tell the kids what their friends were doing and why. Sometimes he would even relate it to a similar form of worship in our own belief. Our children grew up respecting their friends for their religious beliefs.

A neighbor, Jennifer, told me that she has only one sister who is a member of the church. When her children get together with their cousins who aren’t members of the church they often learn something about their cousins’ beliefs through mere conversation. One time the cousins were told that the Godhead is one being. Questions arose among the cousins that weren’t immediately answered. Then later during family scripture time Jennifer’s family read from the New Testament and they answered those very questions. "This is so clear," they would say. "Why don’t our cousins read the scriptures and find these answers for themselves." Jennifer then explained that they have a modern translation bible and other people have translated the bible to say that the Godhead is one being. Again keeping the communication open and answering questions is critical.

Jennifer went on to say that she has told her children that differences will arise as they have these conversations with their cousins. They can have an attitude of learning and make it a positive experience, or they can be closed, intolerant, and angry during these cousin discussions. The attitude they have will make all the difference.

In preparing for this talk I asked many of my neighbors, family, and friends for their advice and help as to how they would teach these principles of being inclusive and respectful. My son, who is now 19, said, "Teach them while they are young." I use children’s books in my classroom to teach children about diversity. Together we read the story and then we list all of the ways that the child in the book is like the children in our classroom, then we list the ways we are different. The children are always amazed at the list of the many ways that we are alike. There are many books that celebrate cultural and religious diversity. Use them as a teaching tool.

Another friend, Pam, who joined the church several years after being associated with many good Latter-day Saints, gave this advice: "Be friends with people from all religions, and don’t ditch them when you find that they may not be interested in the gospel at a certain time in their lives."

Others said, if you invite to people to your church activities, be willing to accept invitations to their religious functions. It is not enough to tolerate–be open and accepting. Get to know and care about the people around you. If you sincerely care about them as a person and a child of God--it will show.

A friend mentioned that her children were invited on occasion to attend church services from other denominations. She always encouraged them to go. She felt it was good for her children attend different religious services. She said the contrast was good for them. She helped them to see the truths in other religions while explaining that our church had additional truth. She had no fear that her children would leave the church because they were and are well founded in their own beliefs. Her closing comments were, "Truth stands on its own. The gospel can stand up to scrutiny." We seek for truth wherever it is found. As we broaden our view of people around us we receive a clearer vision of all the love Heavenly Father has for us and for all of his children.

V. INTERFAITH RELATIONS AS A MEANS OF BUILDING TESTIMONY

Based on our experience, we propose three principles as a basis for learning from those who differ from us socially, politically, and religiously. First, empathy. Try to see things from their point of view, to understand the experience of others through their eyes and from their sources. If you want a friend or colleague to understand the depth, beauty, and appeal of the Restored Gospel and what it means to be LDS, you probably won’t recommend they see "The Godmakers." By the same token, don’t see "Not Without My Daughter" or read only newspaper accounts of terrorist activities in drawing conclusions about the Islamic view of women’s status and social change. Second, fairness. Make fair comparisons. Don’t compare the worst of theirs to the best of ours. Intellectual and spiritual integrity require that as we examine other belief systems, we hold up the mirror of self-scrutiny to our own community before we draw conclusions. For example, the eminent historian Dr. Jan Shipps, a specialist in Mormon history, recently described in a lecture the reaction of her non-LDS students after their first reading of LDS history and theology. "How can intelligent, sane people believe anything that is so outrageous and irrational?" Her reply reflects the kind of honesty and fairness that we should aspire to as we interface with other religions: "The story of the First Vision and gold plates from an angel is not any crazier than the story of a dead man, Jesus, coming alive again and floating up to heaven. All religions believe things that can’t be proved rationally." Third, humility. Have a humble heart and open mind. As admonished by the Savior and the prophets, be teachable, constantly seeking spiritual light and religious insight wherever it may be found.

We would like to share some specific examples of how applying these three ground rules–emphathy, fairness, and humility– in an interfaith setting has helped our family over the years learn much from our brothers and sisters of other faiths, and at the same time, to increase our testimony and understanding of Gospel truths.

Jim’s association with Eastern religions, particularly Buddhism, Hinduism, and Taoism, has reinforced the importance of finding quiet time for reflection, meditation, and pondering as a prerequisite for receiving spiritual peace, strength, and insight. A few years ago he visited Bodhgaya, India, the site of the Buddha’s enlightenment, very early one morning with several BYU colleagues. Underneath the Boddhi tree next to the main temple sat a Buddhist monk, cross-legged, perfectly still, intently focused on connecting with the Ultimate Reality for him: the Buddha nature within. Jim says that he has been inspired many times since then by the peace and serenity he felt in that spot and that moment, a reminder of the many injunctions in LDS tradition to take time to be alone to refresh our spirit and renew our relationship with Heavenly Father. President Hinckley recently reminded church members of this eternal principle:

You need time to meditate and ponder, to think, to wonder at the great plan of happiness that the Lord has outlined for His children. . . . I heard President David O. McKay say to the members of the Twelve on one occasion, ‘Brethren, we do not spend enough time meditating.’ I believe that with all my heart. Our lives become extremely busy. We run from one thing to another. We wear ourselves out in thoughtless pursuit of goals which are highly ephemeral. We are entitled to spend some time with ourselves in introspection, in development.15

On many occasions we have had the privilege of participating in Jewish rituals of worship, whether in homes for Sabbath eve and passover services or in the synagogue for Torah reading and Bar Mitzvahs. We have observed with great interest the verbatim prayers and liturgy and the symbolic use of special clothing, objects, and actions. We have noted how comfortable and joyous the Jews are as they engage in these ancient rituals which provide a sense of perspective, meaning, and identity in their lives. By visiting synagogues, mosques, temples, and shrines and seeing how important ritual is in other religious communities, we have gained new insight and appreciation for the vital role of ritual in our own spiritual lives as we partake of the sacrament and attend the temple.

While living in Cairo, we were invited by a Muslim friend, Nabil, to participate in his family’s evening "break-fast" meal during the month of fasting, Ramadan. As we entered their modest apartment in one of the most impoverished quarters of Cairo, we noticed that one of the rooms was occupied by numerous peasant women (distinguishable by their black clothing) and their children. They were all sitting on the floor with food spread out before them on a cloth, quietly waiting for the call to prayer that marks the end of fasting each day. When we asked if they were his relatives, he replied, "No, I don’t know any of them. It is our habit to invite strangers off the street who cannot afford good food to share our Ramadan meal. We do this because it was one of the customs of our prophet, Muhammad." We were deeply moved by our Muslim friend’s unselfishness and compassion for the poor. We were reminded of how many times friends and colleagues of other faiths have been exemplary in living principles of kindness, generosity, and charity for the outcaste in society. These evidences of truth and goodness in other religions do weaken our testimonies; rather, they reinforce our gratitude for LDS teachings about a God of infinite love who reveals eternal truth to all of His children according to their readiness to accept it.

Our final example is closer to home. Down the street from our home is the Rock Canyon Assembly of God, a protestant congregation located in the Edgemont area of Provo, one of the most intensely LDS areas on the planet. They are a religious minority if ever there was one. In mingling with them and talking with their leader, Reverend Dean Jackson, we became aware of a remarkable spirit of humility, forgiveness, and reaching out to others that is an inspiring example to all Christians. A few years ago the congregants signed a petition expressing remorse for the ill-will they have felt at times towards their LDS neighbors and asking forgiveness. The petition, which was presented to a group of LDS church leaders and now hangs in the Joseph Smith building here at BYU, reads in part: "In an effort to allow God’s ministry of reconciliation to us, to be evident in our lives, we the undersigned do hereby declare that in times past our attitudes and or actions toward members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have been completely unlike that which was demonstrated through the example of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We therefore join . . . in humble and sincere repentance for this behavior. Having received forgiveness from God, we now ask for forgiveness from the members of [the LDS Church]." Rev. Jackson reports that this effort at interfaith reconciliation has brought about "a whole deeper level" in his congregation as members have begun to overcome their suspicion and fears of Mormons and even to attend LDS ward parties!16 We find their actions to be humbling and motivating: humbling because of the profound example of Christlike love exhibited by a religious minority in our own backyard, and motivating because of the desire it stirs in us to seek to alleviate the sense of alienation–of being "strangers and foreigners"– that they and others like them have felt over the years living in the LDS heartland.

Our experience has confirmed the truthfulness of Paul’s admonition to "entertain strangers," for thereby we have indeed entertained "angels" who have blessed us with righteous example and spiritual light. We add our testimony to President Hinckley’s that if we "look for [the strength and virtues of others], . . . you will find strength and virtues that will be helpful in your own life."

VI. CONCLUSION

The only way to teach our children to accept and learn from those who are different is to first acquire the ability to do so ourselves. The foundation for setting an example of respect and tolerance is a correct understanding of LDS doctrines about our Heavenly Father’s love for all His children and about the truths He has revealed throughout history to bless their lives. Latter-day Saints believe that it is vital to acknowledge and benefit from the spiritual light found in other religions, while seeking humbly to share the additional measure of eternal truth provided by latter-day revelation.

An unexpected but beneficial outcome of open-minded interaction with friends of other faiths is greater awareness of what is truly unique in one’s own tradition. While we have learned to look for and appreciate the common ground of shared morals, ethics, and beliefs, we have also learned to appreciate how differences define us and help us understand more fully what it means to be a Latter-day Saint and what sets the Restored Gospel apart in the religious economy. The process of examining our similarities and differences with non-LDS friends has deepened our testimony of unique LDS doctrines–the nature of God, eternal progression, continuing revelation, temple work, and priesthood authority–that are problematic for non-members but form, we have concluded, the foundation of the Gospel’s power, beauty, and appeal throughout the world.

The Prophet Joseph Smith, in one of his most eloquent pronouncements on respect and compassion, taught that Heavenly Father will take complex circumstances into account and judge the lives of all His children based on a divine, merciful perspective that surpasses our limited human understanding:

While one portion of the human race is judging and condemning the other without mercy, the Great Parent of the universe looks upon the whole of the human family with a fatherly care and paternal regard; He views them as His offspring, and without any of the contracted feelings that influence the children of men. . . . He holds the reins of judgment in His hands; He is a wise lawgiver, and will judge all men, not according to the narrow, contracted notions of men . . . [and] not according to what they have not, but according to what they have. . . . Those who have a law, will be judged by that law.17

May we have such vision and testimony of God’s love for His children of all walks of life that we willingly "treasure up" divine light wherever it has been revealed and that we "entertain strangers" among us, thus discovering "angels" who teach and inspire us. May we "bear record of . . . Christ" in our lives by dismantling "walls of partition"–intolerance, pride, suspicion, and rivalry–and by teaching our children to love and learn from our brothers and sisters of different backgrounds, viewing them no more as "strangers and foreigners."

In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.